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INFORMATION FOR PARENTS

TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT SEX

Depending upon your background, thinking about how to talk with your children may be exciting, anxiety provoking, bewildering, or all of the above. Here are some ideas that may help you.

GOALS

You want your young child to…

  • feel good about being a boy or a girl
  • know the correct words for body parts and functions
  • know that sexual feelings are part of being human
  • know that there is a difference between public and private behavior
  • come to you for correct information
  • begin to recognize conflicting messages about sexuality on TV and in other media
  • understand your family’s values related to sexuality


Do’s and Don’ts

Do try to relax.
Do listen to your child’s question.
Do keep your answer simple.
Do pick the right time.
Do realize the question may not always be what the child really wants to know.
Do be prepared for repetition.
Do educate yourself about child development.
Do try to recognize your child’s individual style.
Do investigate your own feelings about sexuality.
Do expect to feel uncomfortable.

Don’t think you have to know everything.
Don’t always wait for the child to ask.
Don’t think it’s harmful to tell too much too soon.
Don’t make fun of your child’s fanciful ideas.


Answering Difficult Questions Using the C.A.L.M. Method:

C-Compliment your child for asking the question. Also, clarify your child’s question by finding out what they already know. Make sure you know what they are really asking.
A-Answer the question in short simple sentences. Be honest and tell the truth.
L-Listen to your child’s response. Did they understand what you said?
M-Monitor the conversation and make a decision about extending the conversation.


For more information, click on the link below:

“Human Sexuality: What Children Should Know and When They Should Know It”
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/parents/human-sexuality-what-children-need-know-when-they-need-know-it-4421.htm


HELPFUL SOURCES

Gone is the time of the “big talk”; here is the time of the ongoing conversation. Here are some ideas about what you might say and how you might say it along with some books and video resources you might find helpful.

  • Talking About Sex: A Guide for Families (video kit) - by Planned Parenthood. Designed for families with kids ages 10 to 14. Includes: 30 minute video, Parent’s Guide, and Kid’s Activity Workbook.  Contact PPNT Resource Center at (817) 882-1155.

  • All About Sex: A Family Resource on Sex and Sexuality, written by PPFA, (Three Rivers Press, 1997). Written simply and directly. A great resource for parents to use in discussions with children of all ages. At your local bookstore, or PPNT (817)-882-1155.

  • Web sites of interest:
    Guides for Parents - topics related to parents talking with their children about sexuality.
    http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/parents-4412.htm

    Resources for Parents and Other Adults     - from SIECUS
    http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.viewPage&pageID=632&nodeID=1

    Coalition for Positive Sexuality - for teens who are sexually active or are thinking about becoming sexually active.
    http://www.positive.org

    It’s Your (Sex) Life - site is part of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. For young adults and parents who may wish to address these issues with their teens.
    www.itsyoursexlife.com

    Talking with Kids About Tough Issues - encouragement for parents to talk with their children early and often about sexuality issues.
    www.talkingwithkids.org
    www.familiesaretalking.org

    Iwannaknow - site sponsored by ASHA (American Social Health Ass’n). A safe and fun place for teenagers to learn about sexual health and for parents to receive guidance.
    http://www.iwannaknow.org